Susan's Story
My husband took him to the nursery while they finished the c-section and took me to recovery. My parents came in about that time and I got to see them in recovery. I was smiling and talking. Just in a total high over the whole thing (drug induced, I'm sure). My husband came back and told me he was 8 lbs. 6 oz and 20 3/4". When I got moved to my room, which was across from the nursery, they parked me in front of his bed and the nurse held him up for me to see. He had his eyes open. But, I didn't get to hold him until he was about 5 hours old. That is one of the things that I regret the most.
I was in the hospital for 4 days. I had him with me practically the whole time. My husband spent every minute with us except to go home and shower and then my parents would be there. I was never alone because they wouldn't let me have the baby by myself. My baby wanted to sleep all the time. He wasn't interested in eating. I couldn't get him to latch on. My pediatrician said not to worry about it that lots of babies don't eat the first few days and to just let him sleep. He'll get hungry by the time my milk comes in. To try when he's awake, but not to force it. The nurses were badgering me. The said I had to feed him or I was hurting him. They said I was going to make him sick and it would be my fault. They insisted that I give him formula so I wouldn't hurt him. They bullied me into that a few times. But, then I would tell the pediatrician and he would say to not do that. I would argue with the nurses and they got real mad at me. They made comments about how if I can't breastfeed that I'd better give him formula. Or breastfeeding is great, if you can do it. I had no encouragement at all. I couldn't get him to latch so I would ask for help. The first nurse they sent pinched my nipple so hard it made me cry. None of the nurses could get him to latch.
Then they started having excuses for taking him into the nursery. Checkup or baths, whatever they could come up with. I had no choice in the matter. I would tell them to bring him back as soon as they were done and they wouldn't. We'd end up having to have my husband or someone go down and get him. They'd bring him and he'd be asleep and demand that I wake him up to feed him. I wouldn't do it, I stood my ground. There were many hateful things being said to me by those nurses about it. Then the last night there was one nice nurse in the nursery and she came to get him for his bath. I tricked her and asked when the last time he had a bottle. And I found out they had been feeding them all along.
I got my pediatrician involved. He had meetings with the nursery supervisor. It was to have stopped. Then they had him in there for a test and my Mom caught them about to feed him and stopped it. That was when I crashed. My husband was at home getting ready to bring us home later that day. I was crying uncontrollably. They finished the test and we got the results and my husband got there and we packed up and left. That was on a Friday. I felt my milk coming in on Saturday, but nothing would come out. I knew I had to pump since I couldn't get the baby to latch or my milk would go away. I gave him some formula that weekend so he wouldn't dehydrate. On Monday I called my pediatrician and he referred me to a lactation consultant. She was my godsend. She got me started with the pump and Fenugreek and all the crap that goes with these problems. But I tried for 2 months of excruciating breastfeeding for 45 min, pumping for 20, feeding the pumped milk. Washing nipple shields, breast pump and bottles. We tried all kinds of techniques. At 2 months I broke down and gave up. There had just been too many nights where I had been crying that I couldn't do it anymore. I've had the hardest time with overcoming this.
I was in the hospital for 4 days. I had him with me practically the whole time. My husband spent every minute with us except to go home and shower and then my parents would be there. I was never alone because they wouldn't let me have the baby by myself. My baby wanted to sleep all the time. He wasn't interested in eating. I couldn't get him to latch on. My pediatrician said not to worry about it that lots of babies don't eat the first few days and to just let him sleep. He'll get hungry by the time my milk comes in. To try when he's awake, but not to force it. The nurses were badgering me. The said I had to feed him or I was hurting him. They said I was going to make him sick and it would be my fault. They insisted that I give him formula so I wouldn't hurt him. They bullied me into that a few times. But, then I would tell the pediatrician and he would say to not do that. I would argue with the nurses and they got real mad at me. They made comments about how if I can't breastfeed that I'd better give him formula. Or breastfeeding is great, if you can do it. I had no encouragement at all. I couldn't get him to latch so I would ask for help. The first nurse they sent pinched my nipple so hard it made me cry. None of the nurses could get him to latch.
Then they started having excuses for taking him into the nursery. Checkup or baths, whatever they could come up with. I had no choice in the matter. I would tell them to bring him back as soon as they were done and they wouldn't. We'd end up having to have my husband or someone go down and get him. They'd bring him and he'd be asleep and demand that I wake him up to feed him. I wouldn't do it, I stood my ground. There were many hateful things being said to me by those nurses about it. Then the last night there was one nice nurse in the nursery and she came to get him for his bath. I tricked her and asked when the last time he had a bottle. And I found out they had been feeding them all along.
I got my pediatrician involved. He had meetings with the nursery supervisor. It was to have stopped. Then they had him in there for a test and my Mom caught them about to feed him and stopped it. That was when I crashed. My husband was at home getting ready to bring us home later that day. I was crying uncontrollably. They finished the test and we got the results and my husband got there and we packed up and left. That was on a Friday. I felt my milk coming in on Saturday, but nothing would come out. I knew I had to pump since I couldn't get the baby to latch or my milk would go away. I gave him some formula that weekend so he wouldn't dehydrate. On Monday I called my pediatrician and he referred me to a lactation consultant. She was my godsend. She got me started with the pump and Fenugreek and all the crap that goes with these problems. But I tried for 2 months of excruciating breastfeeding for 45 min, pumping for 20, feeding the pumped milk. Washing nipple shields, breast pump and bottles. We tried all kinds of techniques. At 2 months I broke down and gave up. There had just been too many nights where I had been crying that I couldn't do it anymore. I've had the hardest time with overcoming this.