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Cheryl's Story

To be honest, I'm not sure if we're having really having breastfeeding problems or just perceived problems. Gabriel was a drowsy newborn, so didn't gain weight or clear off the tiny bit of jaundice fast enough to suit the ped's office. They wanted me to give him formula AND water, sure to compromise my supply at that early stage, and if he wouldn't stay awake to nurse, why would he stay awake for formula? So I just worked harder at making sure he stayed awake to nurse. My milk came in very well, he even had to pull off from overflow sometimes. At my post-partum check I asked for a diaphragm but was told that I could take Pills without affecting my supply, while I had read differently. His first checkups went fairly well. He has always been slender & low on the "dreaded weight chart", but his diaper count is good & no crystals, eyes bright and skin tone fine; he nurses whenever he wants for as long as he wants. He's very active & playful, rolling both ways by the end of four months, and now pulling himself with his elbows at around six. But at his four month checkup, the ped said his rate of weight gain had slowed and he again wanted me to supplement with formula after every feeding. Shouldn't the answer have been to offer the breast more often? Even though I resent that his first answer to everything is formula, when my much-beloved plan had been to exclusively bf for at least six months and then let Gabriel decide when to wean, I am worried now and do offer a small amount of formula when G has nursed but still seems hungry. Every bottle finds me almost in tears; I'm a SAHM, all I do during the day is care for the baby & produce milk for him :-), how can it not be enough? Only four ounces of formula at a time, more & he'll spit up and I'm still trying desperately not to do anything to worsen my milk problem. I'm using fenugreek, fennel seed, brewer's yeast, Mother's Milk Tea, I made the GYN give me a diaphragm, I've rented a Lactina that I can't get more than five ounces from both sides with. My only support is my husband and on the computer; the nearest LLL is an hour drive away, and I had to drive to the next county to rent the pump. Then I had a chance to have him weighed at 24 weeks (his "6 month" appointment isn't until 26). His length was 27 inches, and I was *so* sure that he's reached 15 pounds, the magic doubled weight, that in my disappointment I don't remember exactly what she said, just that it's still under 14. I don't know what I should do now. My breasts never feel like they have anything in them, not first thing in the morning, not if he unexpectedly sleeps for six hours straight, never. He's more than happy to polish off a bottle of formula, and ate a whole four ounces of sweet potatoes the first day he had solids at 24 weeks. He is gaining, but not "fast enough". I want to give him the benefits of breastfeeding, but I want to make sure he has available all the calories and fats that are so important during this time of incredible growth. I feel that most people want to tell me "Jeez, just give him formula and get over it" but this is so important to me.

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