I need to share something that has been on my mind. I have been reading about the skin to skin contact helping increase milk supply. I tried it. I did. My dd was all snugly with me. The next time I held her, she rooted on my and cried. I cannot nurse her. My ped says it is a danger to her life.

She aspirates anything thinner than honey thick liquids. I am not even allowed to use the SNS, I tried and begged. It broke my heart when she rooted and cried on me. It has been almost 3 months since I last brought her to my breast and I miss it. So much. Since my dd does not have latch issues and I physically can nurse her, it is way too much of a temptation to allow her to suckle after I pump (even the littlest bit of milk can be dangerous) or use the pacifier. We had an intervention done 3 months ago with the ped and a hospital social worker, telling us how dangerous it was to nurse her. There was the underlying threat of losing our baby if we did not comply.

I don't want anyone to feel bad for anything they post on here, that is not my intentions. I just need to share that I cannot even do the skin to skin without things going wrong. She doesn't understand why she cannot nurse and after we did the skin to skin, it took a week before she would take a bottle from me (she is tube fed and bottle fed both). Crazy as this sounds, I wish I could somehow add the thicken to my mm before it left my body, that there was something I could take to make it thicker, so she could take it. I guess that doesn't sound so crazy now that I am looking at it now. It does drive me nuts when the doc keeps referring to the mm as "formula"... I wanted to thank everyone for their support.